I taught my AI to stop nagging me about things I already decided
My agent kept sending me lists of events that were too far away to attend. Every time, I said no. One morning I told it to stop, and the fix was a good lesson about what deferring to someone actually means.
Presenting a decision I already made
The agent would find local events and add them to my calendar as tentative, which is useful. But it also kept handing me a second list of events that were a two hour drive away, under the logic that the call should be mine. I had ruled out that drive every single time it was offered.
An agent that keeps presenting a decision you have already made is not deferring to you, it is nagging. And there was no way for it to learn otherwise, because the only signal it was getting was me ignoring the message.
Silence is sometimes the right answer
So I changed it. It still looks at the far-away events, but only so it can leave them out. When there is nothing I can actually act on, it now sends nothing at all. Not a smaller list, nothing.
A good assistant knows when not to speak. The point of automation is to reduce the noise in your day, not add a polite new source of it.
Good automation makes your day quieter, not busier. That is the standard we build to.
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